Last Thursday I got caught in a whirlwind that I'm not ready to blog about. Perhaps later.
But now I have a power of praise story.
Last Wednesday I finished the Encouraging Path workshop at 3:00 for fifteen people from Gateway Services. I spend part of the workshop teaching about how praise helps groups thrive and then teach seven different ways you can use praise.
On the way home three Plow Creek boys came running up, wanting a ride on my wheelchair. I divided the ride home into three stages and each lad rode a third of the way with me.
They hung around our garage while I loaded my wheelchair into my van. When I load my wheelchair I roll a rug van over the van's bumper to protect it. After I loaded the wheelchair four year-old Chris reached over and rolled up the rug and stored it in the van.
"Thank you, Chris, that was very helpful." I said, suprised because Chris usually has his head down as he charges from one activity to the next. "Chris, you are a good helper, " I added.
"I'm a good helper," he announced with pleasure.
"I'm a good helper too," said Zach, his six-year old brother. "I help my parents carrry in groceries from the car."
"Yes, Zach, you are a good helper," I said. "when you help your parents carry in the groceries."
"I'm a good helper too," said five year-old Gabrian. "I help my parents carry in things from the car."
"Yes, Gabrian," I said, "you are a good helper when you carry in stuff from the car for your Mom and Dad. You are all good helpers."
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Leading pre-schoolers
After I locked my keys in the car last evening I saw a great example of leadership by a young mother.
As soon as I locked the van door I realized my mistake. I carry a spare key in my pocket appointment book but I had taken the appointment book out and left it in the van while I was in an meeting. And I hadn't put it back in my shirt pocket. So I had not only locked my keys in the van but also my spare key.
Thankfully I had my cell phone on my belt loop. I called my true love who agreed to bring a second set of keys.
After I finished shopping I sat on a ledge at the front of the store. I was a bit irritated because I didn't even have anything to read.
But soon a young woman with two boys, ages three and four, and a girl, age two, came in.
A bit later as they approached the check out I saw that each of the boys was carrying two big bags of chips and the little girl was carrying a single big bag of cheese curls.
What a great idea, I thought. Even at that young age each child played an important role in shopping. She lifted the little girl up so that the little girl could place her bag on the check out counter.
At the check out the young woman mentioned to the clerk that they were having teen boys over. While the mother was checking out, the two boys promptly climbed a nearby railing. The mother calmly suggested they get down and didn't make a big deal of it when they took their time getting off the railing.
She did not use a shopping cart, making it necessary for each person to carry some of the groceries.
As soon as she was through the check out line she gave each boy two bags of chips and the boys hustled out the door ahead of her, each carrying their load.
She gave the little girl two bags but when that proved to be too much she took one bag back and carried it with the bottles of ketchup other items she was carrying.
Taking young children shopping is always a challenge but that young mother turned it into an opportunity for each child to play an important role.
Leaders exist to make it possible for each person in the group to have a hand in helping the whole group thrive.
That young mother was a great leader.
As soon as I locked the van door I realized my mistake. I carry a spare key in my pocket appointment book but I had taken the appointment book out and left it in the van while I was in an meeting. And I hadn't put it back in my shirt pocket. So I had not only locked my keys in the van but also my spare key.
Thankfully I had my cell phone on my belt loop. I called my true love who agreed to bring a second set of keys.
After I finished shopping I sat on a ledge at the front of the store. I was a bit irritated because I didn't even have anything to read.
But soon a young woman with two boys, ages three and four, and a girl, age two, came in.
A bit later as they approached the check out I saw that each of the boys was carrying two big bags of chips and the little girl was carrying a single big bag of cheese curls.
What a great idea, I thought. Even at that young age each child played an important role in shopping. She lifted the little girl up so that the little girl could place her bag on the check out counter.
At the check out the young woman mentioned to the clerk that they were having teen boys over. While the mother was checking out, the two boys promptly climbed a nearby railing. The mother calmly suggested they get down and didn't make a big deal of it when they took their time getting off the railing.
She did not use a shopping cart, making it necessary for each person to carry some of the groceries.
As soon as she was through the check out line she gave each boy two bags of chips and the boys hustled out the door ahead of her, each carrying their load.
She gave the little girl two bags but when that proved to be too much she took one bag back and carried it with the bottles of ketchup other items she was carrying.
Taking young children shopping is always a challenge but that young mother turned it into an opportunity for each child to play an important role.
Leaders exist to make it possible for each person in the group to have a hand in helping the whole group thrive.
That young mother was a great leader.
Saturday, May 14, 2005
On art, torture and trust
I just came from the Plow Creek common building where we are holding an art show and reception for one of our most senior members, Jim Harnish. Folks are wandering through the common room admiring a life time of pottery and ceramic pieces Jim created.
After the last Evergreen Leaders workshop a participant lent me a book he thought I'd like to read: The Blindfolds Eye: My journey from torture to truth by Sister Dianna Ortiz.
Sister Dianna was one of thousands of people who were tortured in Guatemala by the army in the 1970's and 1980's. Sister Dianna, a nun, was raped repeatedly and burned 111 times on her back during a 24-hour period at a police station before she escaped. Most of those who were tortured were killed.
Torture was used as a strategy to break trust in small groups on the left. They chose unknown people like Sister Dianna to torture in order to send shock waves through the small groups they were part of, according to the US ambassador to Guatemala at the time, Thomas Stroock. Now declassified documents clearly show that US officials were working with Guatemalan officials to cover up the torture that went on including the torturing of Sister Dianna, an American who was teaching children.
Plow Creek is a community built on trust. At the common building there are seven tables filled with a variety of ceramic and pottery pieces that Jim created over a life time. Jim is in his early 80's and in poor health but he was smiling and joking with his relatives and friends who came to the reception.
As Jim's health has deteriorated he has needed more and more help with the simple tasks of life.
This takes deep trust on his part and deep trust on the numerous Plow Creek people who each week lend a hand in caring for Jim and Donna. His wife, Donna, has been incommunicado and in need of 24-hour care since a stroke six years ago.
Torturers destroy trust and life. While too many governments were torturing people Jim Harnish was living a communal life at Plow Creek and creating art.
Artists and lovers like Jim build life and trust. I am delighted that we can honor one of our elders today, one who has given his life to building art and trust.
Now I am going to go back and rejoin the party.
After the last Evergreen Leaders workshop a participant lent me a book he thought I'd like to read: The Blindfolds Eye: My journey from torture to truth by Sister Dianna Ortiz.
Sister Dianna was one of thousands of people who were tortured in Guatemala by the army in the 1970's and 1980's. Sister Dianna, a nun, was raped repeatedly and burned 111 times on her back during a 24-hour period at a police station before she escaped. Most of those who were tortured were killed.
Torture was used as a strategy to break trust in small groups on the left. They chose unknown people like Sister Dianna to torture in order to send shock waves through the small groups they were part of, according to the US ambassador to Guatemala at the time, Thomas Stroock. Now declassified documents clearly show that US officials were working with Guatemalan officials to cover up the torture that went on including the torturing of Sister Dianna, an American who was teaching children.
Plow Creek is a community built on trust. At the common building there are seven tables filled with a variety of ceramic and pottery pieces that Jim created over a life time. Jim is in his early 80's and in poor health but he was smiling and joking with his relatives and friends who came to the reception.
As Jim's health has deteriorated he has needed more and more help with the simple tasks of life.
This takes deep trust on his part and deep trust on the numerous Plow Creek people who each week lend a hand in caring for Jim and Donna. His wife, Donna, has been incommunicado and in need of 24-hour care since a stroke six years ago.
Torturers destroy trust and life. While too many governments were torturing people Jim Harnish was living a communal life at Plow Creek and creating art.
Artists and lovers like Jim build life and trust. I am delighted that we can honor one of our elders today, one who has given his life to building art and trust.
Now I am going to go back and rejoin the party.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
The day I became a diehard Cubs fan
Friday it happened. The moment I became a die-hard Chicago Cubs fan.
On Wednesday they lost when their relief pitcher walked in the winning run in the bottom of the ninth.
On Thursday they lost in the top of the ninth when an opponent hit a blooper that the second basemen over ran.
Then on Friday in the top of the ninth with the bases loaded, Cubs ahead by one, and one out, I unloaded my wheelchair to go into the Met to swim.
I paused to listen to the next at bat. Cubs announcer, Pat Hughes: "A sharp liner back to the mound. He throws to first. Oh no, he threw it into the stands...two runs score...Philadelphia takes the lead...I think it bounced of the base runner and into the stands."
Hughes was right. When the pitcher threw to first base to complete the double play and finish the inning, the ball hit the helmet of the base runner and flew into the stands.
I sat in my wheelchair and laughed. This is art, I thought, absurd art maybe, but art nonetheless. The Cubs have turned losing into an art.
I grew up in Minnesota, a Twins fan, and moved to Illinois in 1977. Over the years the Cubs have slowly grown on me but I wouldn't have called myself a diehard Cubs fan.
But at that moment, when I could laugh, recognizing the absurd beauty of that play, one that may never again be duplicated in baseball, I knew I was a diehard Cubs fan.
When they win it's great, but when they lose like that, it's beauty.
Go Cubs.
On Wednesday they lost when their relief pitcher walked in the winning run in the bottom of the ninth.
On Thursday they lost in the top of the ninth when an opponent hit a blooper that the second basemen over ran.
Then on Friday in the top of the ninth with the bases loaded, Cubs ahead by one, and one out, I unloaded my wheelchair to go into the Met to swim.
I paused to listen to the next at bat. Cubs announcer, Pat Hughes: "A sharp liner back to the mound. He throws to first. Oh no, he threw it into the stands...two runs score...Philadelphia takes the lead...I think it bounced of the base runner and into the stands."
Hughes was right. When the pitcher threw to first base to complete the double play and finish the inning, the ball hit the helmet of the base runner and flew into the stands.
I sat in my wheelchair and laughed. This is art, I thought, absurd art maybe, but art nonetheless. The Cubs have turned losing into an art.
I grew up in Minnesota, a Twins fan, and moved to Illinois in 1977. Over the years the Cubs have slowly grown on me but I wouldn't have called myself a diehard Cubs fan.
But at that moment, when I could laugh, recognizing the absurd beauty of that play, one that may never again be duplicated in baseball, I knew I was a diehard Cubs fan.
When they win it's great, but when they lose like that, it's beauty.
Go Cubs.
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Telemarketer Grace
On Sunday at Plow Creek Rick Reha did a teaching on grace and then he had us get into small groups and tell stories about grace in our lives.
I didn't think of it then but later I thought--I have a telemarketing grace story. For the past 4-5 years I've been in charge of Plow Creek's long distance services. We have 10 lines and six toll free numbers and use account codes to divide the bills between personal, church and Plow Creek business calls.
We've had the same long distance carrier for the past four years. I've taken numerous calls from people trying to get us to switch. Most of the time they can't come close to the deal we have. In self-defense I've developed a policy of telling folks to fax me their offer in writing.
Then about four weeks ago Maria Mandic from DC Communications called. I'd never heard of the company. I did my usual bit about about faxing which she promptly did.
Usually it's me who practices grace with telemarketers. I never hang up on them. I listen and when I don't buy or donate I say, "Better luck on your next call."
But Maria practiced grace with me. No pressure. She just called back when she said she would and answered all my questions.
It took her four weeks of follow-up since I had to research our current plan (it turns out, unbeknownst to me, that our current plan had raised their rates and fees), compare it to hers, and then consult with folks at Plow Creek.
Never once did she make me feel guilty for taking so long to make the decision. Not an ounce of pressure. She simply let me tell her when to call me next and then she'd call me.
Late in our series of conversations she mentioned that she not only does sales but would be my service rep. "Wow," I thought, "I can acutally call this nice person when there's a problem?"
Yesterday we completed the deal and I had a story about telemarketing grace.
I didn't think of it then but later I thought--I have a telemarketing grace story. For the past 4-5 years I've been in charge of Plow Creek's long distance services. We have 10 lines and six toll free numbers and use account codes to divide the bills between personal, church and Plow Creek business calls.
We've had the same long distance carrier for the past four years. I've taken numerous calls from people trying to get us to switch. Most of the time they can't come close to the deal we have. In self-defense I've developed a policy of telling folks to fax me their offer in writing.
Then about four weeks ago Maria Mandic from DC Communications called. I'd never heard of the company. I did my usual bit about about faxing which she promptly did.
Usually it's me who practices grace with telemarketers. I never hang up on them. I listen and when I don't buy or donate I say, "Better luck on your next call."
But Maria practiced grace with me. No pressure. She just called back when she said she would and answered all my questions.
It took her four weeks of follow-up since I had to research our current plan (it turns out, unbeknownst to me, that our current plan had raised their rates and fees), compare it to hers, and then consult with folks at Plow Creek.
Never once did she make me feel guilty for taking so long to make the decision. Not an ounce of pressure. She simply let me tell her when to call me next and then she'd call me.
Late in our series of conversations she mentioned that she not only does sales but would be my service rep. "Wow," I thought, "I can acutally call this nice person when there's a problem?"
Yesterday we completed the deal and I had a story about telemarketing grace.
Sunday, April 24, 2005
A good conflict with my prez
Trust is built on love and conflict.
A few months back the EGL finance committee decided that, since we don’t have a lot of money, I shouldn’t spend more than $30 (other than petty cash) without the approval of the finance committee.
This created a conflict for me. In EGL workshops we teach that trust is essential to helping a group thrive and lots of rules do the opposite of building trust. I felt like the finance committee didn't trust me with EGL finances.
I knew they were trying to do a good job of being responsible for EGL finacnes but I was still hooked.
In February I tried to talk with EGL president Jason Harrison (who'se also on the finance committee) about the finance committees policy. I said that I thought the EGL finance committee should trust me and that our monthly finance statements were a good way for me to be accountable.
Jason pointed out that under the system I was proposing I would have already spent the money by the time the finance committee became aware of what I was spending it on. And he thought we ought to be having conversations about where the money was coming from and where it was going.
He didn't say it but implicit in his concern was: What’s the use of a board and a finance committee if Rich makes all the decisions?
I said that I did want to have conversations about money. I don't know if I said it but implicit in what I was feeling was: I don't want to be controlled by a set of rules that make it hard to do business in a good way.
Both of us left that meeting feeling frustrated.
This past week I spent a couple of days in Indiana, working on drumming up business for Evergreen Leaders. Also, I met with Jason.
We went over the finance discussion again, this time much more calmly, and were able to work on a plan that made sense to both of us.
This times as I listened to Jason, I realized that while I need to give the message to the board “trust me”, I also need to be open with the board about the direction I think we should be headed and that includes where the income will be coming from and where I think we should be spending money.
Trust and openness need to fit together like mashed potatoes and gravy.
We agreed it makes sense for me to do regular financial forecasts to the board--giving them a read on EGL's financial realties: here’s how much money I think will be coming in the next three months and these are the ways I think we ought to spend it.
That way we can have conversations about EGL’s fiancés without them creating rules and me fussing about the rules. When we human beings have rules imposed on us we have a natural tendency to think of ways to get around the rules.
I don’t want the board and the finance committee us to waste time dreaming up rules and me waste time dreaming ways to get around them.
At the same time I want our finances to be completely in the open so that we can trust each other as together we figure out how to make EGL be a thriving group that gives ordinary people the tools to help the workplaces, churches, and families thrive.
I walked away from this meeting grateful for growing trust with Jason.
A few months back the EGL finance committee decided that, since we don’t have a lot of money, I shouldn’t spend more than $30 (other than petty cash) without the approval of the finance committee.
This created a conflict for me. In EGL workshops we teach that trust is essential to helping a group thrive and lots of rules do the opposite of building trust. I felt like the finance committee didn't trust me with EGL finances.
I knew they were trying to do a good job of being responsible for EGL finacnes but I was still hooked.
In February I tried to talk with EGL president Jason Harrison (who'se also on the finance committee) about the finance committees policy. I said that I thought the EGL finance committee should trust me and that our monthly finance statements were a good way for me to be accountable.
Jason pointed out that under the system I was proposing I would have already spent the money by the time the finance committee became aware of what I was spending it on. And he thought we ought to be having conversations about where the money was coming from and where it was going.
He didn't say it but implicit in his concern was: What’s the use of a board and a finance committee if Rich makes all the decisions?
I said that I did want to have conversations about money. I don't know if I said it but implicit in what I was feeling was: I don't want to be controlled by a set of rules that make it hard to do business in a good way.
Both of us left that meeting feeling frustrated.
This past week I spent a couple of days in Indiana, working on drumming up business for Evergreen Leaders. Also, I met with Jason.
We went over the finance discussion again, this time much more calmly, and were able to work on a plan that made sense to both of us.
This times as I listened to Jason, I realized that while I need to give the message to the board “trust me”, I also need to be open with the board about the direction I think we should be headed and that includes where the income will be coming from and where I think we should be spending money.
Trust and openness need to fit together like mashed potatoes and gravy.
We agreed it makes sense for me to do regular financial forecasts to the board--giving them a read on EGL's financial realties: here’s how much money I think will be coming in the next three months and these are the ways I think we ought to spend it.
That way we can have conversations about EGL’s fiancés without them creating rules and me fussing about the rules. When we human beings have rules imposed on us we have a natural tendency to think of ways to get around the rules.
I don’t want the board and the finance committee us to waste time dreaming up rules and me waste time dreaming ways to get around them.
At the same time I want our finances to be completely in the open so that we can trust each other as together we figure out how to make EGL be a thriving group that gives ordinary people the tools to help the workplaces, churches, and families thrive.
I walked away from this meeting grateful for growing trust with Jason.
Random thoughts
(I wrote this post last Wednesday but forgot the version of my name I had used on this blog and couldn't post on the Goshen College computer I was using.)
I'm at Goshen College, on break between meetings with folks about Evergreen Leaders. I did a Google search for Evergreen Leades to get to the EGL site and noticed that our Evergreen Leaders tops the Google list.
*****
I'm on a trip promoting EGL workshops. Sometimes I get struck by doubts. Will EGL really make a difference in peoples lives? Will it really help groups thive? A few minutes ago I met with John Roth, a Goshen history professor. He was one of my daughters' favorite profs when they were students here. He said that Virgil Miller, CEO of Sauder Woodworking and current president of the Goshen College board, attended a Greenleaf Center for Servant Leadership program a dozen years ago and that it transformed how he operates as a CEO. My deepest longing for EGL is that in a few years people will be talking what a difference it has made in their lives and their groups.
*****
When I arrived at Goshen College this afternoon I unloaded my wheelchair and looked around for someone to direct me to Wyse Hall where John Roth has his office. At that moment I was hailed from a tree. I looked up to see Joel Gonzalez from Reba Place, the church and communal group that founded Plow Creek in 1971, and a young woman. They hopped dwon from the tree, Joel intrduced me to Kirsten, and they led me to Wyse Hall.
*****
At any one point in time I am meditating on three books of the Bible, a verse or two at a time. Many months ago I began meditating on the Gospel According to Matthew. On Easter morning I woke up and realized that I was arriving at the first verse of the resurrection story that morning. Like Mary, I've been treasuring that in my heart.
*****
I am hoping to arrive home tomorrow night in time to take Sarah on a date. I treasure her in my heart too.
Friday, April 22, 2005
Random thoughts
(I wrote these random thoughts two days ago but posted them today.)
I'm at Goshen College, on break between meetings with folks about Evergreen Leaders. I did a Google search for Evergreen Leades to get to the EGL site and noticed that our Evergreen Leaders tops the Google list.
*****
I'm on a trip promoting EGL workshops. Sometimes I get struck by doubts. Will EGL really make a difference in peoples lives? Will it really help groups thive? A few minutes ago I met with John Roth, a Goshen history professor. He was one of my daughters' favorite profs when they were students here. He said that Virgil Miller, CEO of Sauder Woodworking and current president of the Goshen College board, attended a Greenleaf Center for Servant Leadership program a dozen years ago and that it transformed how he operates as a CEO. My deepest longing for EGL is that in a few years people will be talking what a difference it has made in their lives and their groups.
*****
When I arrived at Goshen College this afternoon I unloaded my wheelchair and looked around for someone to direct me to Wyse Hall where John Roth has his office. At that moment I was hailed from a tree. I looked up to see Joel Gonzalez from Reba Place, the church and communal group that founded Plow Creek in 1971, and a young woman. They hopped dwon from the tree, Joel intrduced me to Kirsten, and they led me to Wyse Hall.
*****
At any one point in time I am meditating on three books of the Bible, a verse or two at a time. Many months ago I began meditating on the Gospel according to Matthew. On Easter morning I woke up and realized that I was arriving at the first verse of the resurrection story that morning. Like Mary, I've been treasuring that in my heart.
*****
I am hoping to arrive home tomorrow night in time to take Sarah on a date. I treasure her in my heart too.
I'm at Goshen College, on break between meetings with folks about Evergreen Leaders. I did a Google search for Evergreen Leades to get to the EGL site and noticed that our Evergreen Leaders tops the Google list.
*****
I'm on a trip promoting EGL workshops. Sometimes I get struck by doubts. Will EGL really make a difference in peoples lives? Will it really help groups thive? A few minutes ago I met with John Roth, a Goshen history professor. He was one of my daughters' favorite profs when they were students here. He said that Virgil Miller, CEO of Sauder Woodworking and current president of the Goshen College board, attended a Greenleaf Center for Servant Leadership program a dozen years ago and that it transformed how he operates as a CEO. My deepest longing for EGL is that in a few years people will be talking what a difference it has made in their lives and their groups.
*****
When I arrived at Goshen College this afternoon I unloaded my wheelchair and looked around for someone to direct me to Wyse Hall where John Roth has his office. At that moment I was hailed from a tree. I looked up to see Joel Gonzalez from Reba Place, the church and communal group that founded Plow Creek in 1971, and a young woman. They hopped dwon from the tree, Joel intrduced me to Kirsten, and they led me to Wyse Hall.
*****
At any one point in time I am meditating on three books of the Bible, a verse or two at a time. Many months ago I began meditating on the Gospel according to Matthew. On Easter morning I woke up and realized that I was arriving at the first verse of the resurrection story that morning. Like Mary, I've been treasuring that in my heart.
*****
I am hoping to arrive home tomorrow night in time to take Sarah on a date. I treasure her in my heart too.
Monday, April 18, 2005
A leader's cry of unfulfilled longing
Yesterday I cried while teaching at Plow Creek. I don't cry that often while teaching but once in awhile I hit an issue that resonates deeply.
Yesterday I was talking about Jesus, near the end of his ministry, expressing a deep, unfulfilled longing.
From the beginning of his ministry the religious powers that be found Jesus and his way of doing things offensive. Yet he never backed down--he kept healing on the Sabbath, he kept hanging out with prostitutes, tax collectors, and other undesirables, he never repudiated the rumor that he was the Messiah, a blashphemy to the powers that be who knew that the Messiah was not going to be a carpenter from the wrong side of the tracks.
Yet he loved the very people who were out to get him. After describing their hypocrisy in a series of striking images (often referred to as the seven woes), he ends with this plaintive cry of unfulfilled longing:
O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing.
As a pastor I've poured myself out to folks at Plow Creek for 24 years. Many people have responded but there have been a couople of people who I was deeply bonded to who, no matter how hard I tried, refused to be "gathered."
And I couldn't back down in order to gather them.
The refusal of some to be "gathered as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings" (isn't that a tender image?) hasn't stopped me from continuing to pour my life out.
I think of the line from Oscar Romero's prayer, Prophets of a Future Not Our Own:
We cannot do everything
So even though I fail to gather some, I keep on, liberated in knowing that I am just a little dude doing my small part, leaving plenty of room for God's grace.
More than once lately in my journal when I'm feeling down I've asked Jesus, "Did you ever feel this way?"
I take comfort in his leader's cry of unfulfilled longing.
Yesterday I was talking about Jesus, near the end of his ministry, expressing a deep, unfulfilled longing.
From the beginning of his ministry the religious powers that be found Jesus and his way of doing things offensive. Yet he never backed down--he kept healing on the Sabbath, he kept hanging out with prostitutes, tax collectors, and other undesirables, he never repudiated the rumor that he was the Messiah, a blashphemy to the powers that be who knew that the Messiah was not going to be a carpenter from the wrong side of the tracks.
Yet he loved the very people who were out to get him. After describing their hypocrisy in a series of striking images (often referred to as the seven woes), he ends with this plaintive cry of unfulfilled longing:
O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing.
As a pastor I've poured myself out to folks at Plow Creek for 24 years. Many people have responded but there have been a couople of people who I was deeply bonded to who, no matter how hard I tried, refused to be "gathered."
And I couldn't back down in order to gather them.
The refusal of some to be "gathered as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings" (isn't that a tender image?) hasn't stopped me from continuing to pour my life out.
I think of the line from Oscar Romero's prayer, Prophets of a Future Not Our Own:
We cannot do everything
and there is a sense of liberation in realizing that.
This enables us to do something,
and to do it very well.
It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way,
an opportunity for God's grace to enter and do the rest.
So even though I fail to gather some, I keep on, liberated in knowing that I am just a little dude doing my small part, leaving plenty of room for God's grace.
More than once lately in my journal when I'm feeling down I've asked Jesus, "Did you ever feel this way?"
I take comfort in his leader's cry of unfulfilled longing.
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Blogging Sarah's birthday 6
9:58 p.m.
I'm a tired boy. This is my last blog of Sarah's birthday. If you want to read them in the order I wrote them scroll down to Blogging Sarah's birthday 1.
Heidi, Woju, Sarah, and I had a great feast and two hours of conversation.
Sarah opened a gift from Esther Johnson--a lefse turner and a lefse maker frying pan. On the box it listed the foods you could make on the frying pan. Lefse topped the list and injera was at the bottom. Injera is an Ethiopian flat bread.
Woju was so excited because he loves injera. I said to Heidi and Woju, "This frying pan is designed to make food from both of your roots"--lefse comes from Heidi's Norwegian and Swedish roots and injera comes from Woju's Ethiopian roots.
Good night, faithful readers, and good night, my dear Sarah. I may be tired but I have a big smile on my face because I am the man blessed to be married to Sarah.
I'm a tired boy. This is my last blog of Sarah's birthday. If you want to read them in the order I wrote them scroll down to Blogging Sarah's birthday 1.
Heidi, Woju, Sarah, and I had a great feast and two hours of conversation.
Sarah opened a gift from Esther Johnson--a lefse turner and a lefse maker frying pan. On the box it listed the foods you could make on the frying pan. Lefse topped the list and injera was at the bottom. Injera is an Ethiopian flat bread.
Woju was so excited because he loves injera. I said to Heidi and Woju, "This frying pan is designed to make food from both of your roots"--lefse comes from Heidi's Norwegian and Swedish roots and injera comes from Woju's Ethiopian roots.
Good night, faithful readers, and good night, my dear Sarah. I may be tired but I have a big smile on my face because I am the man blessed to be married to Sarah.
Blogging Sarah's birthday 5
7:06 p.m.
Sarah and I sat on the swing in front of our house, ate more of the dessert from this mornings party, watched the birds and dandelions, and talked.
We're waiting for our daughter, Heidi, and her husband, Woju, to arrive from St. Louis for a birthday supper. They should be arriving in half an hour.
Thirty-one years ago when Sarah and I celebrated her 22nd birthday we were about to be married. Mostly I was thinking about how wonderful it was going to be to be in bed together.
But there have been lots of other wonderful things about Sarah that I never could have imagined when we were 22. Let me count seven.
One, in 1993 I finished the first draft of a long-dreamed of novel, Jonas and Sally. Sarah was the first person to read it and critique it. She proved to be a great editor. After she critiqued it, I re-wrote it and when it was accepted for publication by Good Books they had to do little editing.
Two, she is an astute reader of people. As a pastoral elder at Plow Creek I have discussed many pastoral situations that I have faced over the years and benefitted greatly from her ability to read people.
Three, while before we married both of said we thought we'd be good parents, I never realized what a joy it would be to watch her mother our children. Our three children who live in three different states all love to talk to her on the phone. I love hearing the life in her voice as she talks to them.
Four, she's a diplomat. Being the spouse of a pastor is not an easy role since pastors are subject to attacks and challenges like other leaders. Sarah loves the people of Plow Creek as much as I do and is gentle with my critics. I trust her and so do the people of Plow Creek. That's high praise.
Five, she loves to go on dates and second honeymoons with me. In fact, she was the one who suggested we go on dates every other week when our children were little. Talk about a great idea. We still go on dates and this week one of the workers at Taco Bell in Princeton, a place we have had many dates over the years, referred to us as newly weds. That's a high compliment. I never knew old folks could have so much fun being married.
Six, she has taught me that's a joy to love her by washing the dishes and she's invited me to wash them right now.
Seven, about those second honeymoons. Our kids know it's a joy for us and they often give us gifts of money for second honeymoons for birthdays and anniversaries.
Sarah and I sat on the swing in front of our house, ate more of the dessert from this mornings party, watched the birds and dandelions, and talked.
We're waiting for our daughter, Heidi, and her husband, Woju, to arrive from St. Louis for a birthday supper. They should be arriving in half an hour.
Thirty-one years ago when Sarah and I celebrated her 22nd birthday we were about to be married. Mostly I was thinking about how wonderful it was going to be to be in bed together.
But there have been lots of other wonderful things about Sarah that I never could have imagined when we were 22. Let me count seven.
One, in 1993 I finished the first draft of a long-dreamed of novel, Jonas and Sally. Sarah was the first person to read it and critique it. She proved to be a great editor. After she critiqued it, I re-wrote it and when it was accepted for publication by Good Books they had to do little editing.
Two, she is an astute reader of people. As a pastoral elder at Plow Creek I have discussed many pastoral situations that I have faced over the years and benefitted greatly from her ability to read people.
Three, while before we married both of said we thought we'd be good parents, I never realized what a joy it would be to watch her mother our children. Our three children who live in three different states all love to talk to her on the phone. I love hearing the life in her voice as she talks to them.
Four, she's a diplomat. Being the spouse of a pastor is not an easy role since pastors are subject to attacks and challenges like other leaders. Sarah loves the people of Plow Creek as much as I do and is gentle with my critics. I trust her and so do the people of Plow Creek. That's high praise.
Five, she loves to go on dates and second honeymoons with me. In fact, she was the one who suggested we go on dates every other week when our children were little. Talk about a great idea. We still go on dates and this week one of the workers at Taco Bell in Princeton, a place we have had many dates over the years, referred to us as newly weds. That's a high compliment. I never knew old folks could have so much fun being married.
Six, she has taught me that's a joy to love her by washing the dishes and she's invited me to wash them right now.
Seven, about those second honeymoons. Our kids know it's a joy for us and they often give us gifts of money for second honeymoons for birthdays and anniversaries.
Blogging Sarah's birthday 4
3:44 p.m.
Sarah has been spring cleaning, putting the screens on the windows, and talking on the folks to lots of people who are calling to wish her happy birthday. Right now she's on the phone with her mother.
Sarah has been spring cleaning, putting the screens on the windows, and talking on the folks to lots of people who are calling to wish her happy birthday. Right now she's on the phone with her mother.
Blogging Sarah's birthday 3
10:07 a.m.
Sarah's best line about the surprise party--she told our daughter, Hannah, "Rich threw himself a party on my birthday."
Sarah's best line about the surprise party--she told our daughter, Hannah, "Rich threw himself a party on my birthday."
Blogging Sarah's birthday 2
9:15 a.m.
Sixteen people showed up for the party. There were lots of dubious comments as we gathered on the front lawn. Rick Reha said he was was with Sarah (he is definitely not a morning person). Mark Stahnke said he was going to stay outside in case there was an explosion.
No explosion--just hiding under the covers.
I went into our bedroom and turned off the fan. Four-year-old Kora Behrens joined me, bringing a couple of Tootsie Rolls. I motioned for the folks in the livingroom to sing.
At the sound of "Happy Birthday" Sarah covered up her head with the blankets. Kora and I came to the head of the bed and Sarah peaked out to see who was with me. Kora gave her the Tootsie Rolls. I told Sarah I loved her and she loves me because she accepted the reality of waking up to a surprise birthday party.
Boo is an artist in food. She had written "Happy birthday, Sarah" in whipped cream and carmel. I brought the cake back to our room for Sarah to see.
Then, while she was getting dressed, Lynn Reha and I dished up the desert of everyone. When Sarah joined the party, Bev Benner led us in singing "happy birthday" again. Bev was late and didn't realize we had sung it already. But it's worth singing "once, twice, three times a lady."
I had the dessert planned but no drink. Rick Reha put on hot water for tea. What are friends for if not to make up for one's shortcomings.
Sarah is such a sweetheart. She put up with my surprise with good humor. I bless the day she was born.
Sixteen people showed up for the party. There were lots of dubious comments as we gathered on the front lawn. Rick Reha said he was was with Sarah (he is definitely not a morning person). Mark Stahnke said he was going to stay outside in case there was an explosion.
No explosion--just hiding under the covers.
I went into our bedroom and turned off the fan. Four-year-old Kora Behrens joined me, bringing a couple of Tootsie Rolls. I motioned for the folks in the livingroom to sing.
At the sound of "Happy Birthday" Sarah covered up her head with the blankets. Kora and I came to the head of the bed and Sarah peaked out to see who was with me. Kora gave her the Tootsie Rolls. I told Sarah I loved her and she loves me because she accepted the reality of waking up to a surprise birthday party.
Boo is an artist in food. She had written "Happy birthday, Sarah" in whipped cream and carmel. I brought the cake back to our room for Sarah to see.
Then, while she was getting dressed, Lynn Reha and I dished up the desert of everyone. When Sarah joined the party, Bev Benner led us in singing "happy birthday" again. Bev was late and didn't realize we had sung it already. But it's worth singing "once, twice, three times a lady."
I had the dessert planned but no drink. Rick Reha put on hot water for tea. What are friends for if not to make up for one's shortcomings.
Sarah is such a sweetheart. She put up with my surprise with good humor. I bless the day she was born.
Blogging Sarah's birthday 1
7:30 a.m.
Fifty-three years ago the love of my life was born an orphan. Her father, Ralph Larson, a General Conference Baptiptist missionary in Ethiopia, had been shot and killed five months and three days earlier.
What a sad beginning to life but how glad I am she lives.
Today I am going to blog her birthday like I blogged my birthday last September 30.
In a few minutes friends from Plow Creek are going to gather at our house for a surprise brithday party. Am I nuts? Sarah is not a morning person. Most likely she'll still be sleeping? I am a little nuts and crazy in love. So hopefully after the shock of waking up to a whole lot of people in the living room singing happy birthday, she'll enjoy the attention. A little bit, any way....
Boo Graham has made two ice cream and oreo cookie cakes which we will all enjoy for breakfast. Did I say I am little crazy? I did have her add bananas to the recipe so that the cake will have fruit, nuts, wheat (there must be some wheat in Oreos) and dairy products. Sounds like a balanced breakfast to me. At least for once in a year....
Fifty-three years ago the love of my life was born an orphan. Her father, Ralph Larson, a General Conference Baptiptist missionary in Ethiopia, had been shot and killed five months and three days earlier.
What a sad beginning to life but how glad I am she lives.
Today I am going to blog her birthday like I blogged my birthday last September 30.
In a few minutes friends from Plow Creek are going to gather at our house for a surprise brithday party. Am I nuts? Sarah is not a morning person. Most likely she'll still be sleeping? I am a little nuts and crazy in love. So hopefully after the shock of waking up to a whole lot of people in the living room singing happy birthday, she'll enjoy the attention. A little bit, any way....
Boo Graham has made two ice cream and oreo cookie cakes which we will all enjoy for breakfast. Did I say I am little crazy? I did have her add bananas to the recipe so that the cake will have fruit, nuts, wheat (there must be some wheat in Oreos) and dairy products. Sounds like a balanced breakfast to me. At least for once in a year....
Thursday, April 14, 2005
A long streak of hard
Lately I've been getting up at 4:30 - 5:00 a.m. A long time ago I learned that if I wake up anywhere near morning I might as well get up because otherwise I'll lay in the dark with my brain rattling around.
I've had a long streak of hard work and a series of challenges to my leadership style by people I love. I've been waking up on edge.
I sit in my chair and write in my journal--always starting with worship. Most of the time my spirit quiets down as I connect with Abba and Jesus.
As a leader I am prone to thinking it's all up to me. People look to me for action, wisdom, and saftey. I do my best but it often doesn't seem to be enough.
Starting the morning in worship before dawn helps me to return to reality--I have a small role in God's plan, a plan that's been in motion for millenia.
Lately I've been plodding through Jeremiah who was always hearing a word from the Lord that got him into trouble with people around him. Finally he got tossed into jail, accused of helping the enemy. At one point, since Jeremiah seemed to have a pipe line to God, the king wanted to hear what he had to say and then, of course, the king went his own way.
My troubles seem tiny compared to Jeremiah's.
I worship and bathe in the word of the Lord and usually a phrase for the day emerges. This morning it was: Nurture through faithfulness.
So I'm trying to be faithful as I work and love today, trusting that others will be nurtured by my faithfulness.
I've had a long streak of hard work and a series of challenges to my leadership style by people I love. I've been waking up on edge.
I sit in my chair and write in my journal--always starting with worship. Most of the time my spirit quiets down as I connect with Abba and Jesus.
As a leader I am prone to thinking it's all up to me. People look to me for action, wisdom, and saftey. I do my best but it often doesn't seem to be enough.
Starting the morning in worship before dawn helps me to return to reality--I have a small role in God's plan, a plan that's been in motion for millenia.
Lately I've been plodding through Jeremiah who was always hearing a word from the Lord that got him into trouble with people around him. Finally he got tossed into jail, accused of helping the enemy. At one point, since Jeremiah seemed to have a pipe line to God, the king wanted to hear what he had to say and then, of course, the king went his own way.
My troubles seem tiny compared to Jeremiah's.
I worship and bathe in the word of the Lord and usually a phrase for the day emerges. This morning it was: Nurture through faithfulness.
So I'm trying to be faithful as I work and love today, trusting that others will be nurtured by my faithfulness.
Thursday, April 07, 2005
Haughton practices what he preaches
When you teach, it's challenge to practice what you preach.
I thought of that last Saturday morning when I was e-mailing Laurence Haughton to ask permission to use an excerpt from his book, It's Not What You Say... It’s What You Do – How Following Through at Every Level Can Make or Break Your Company.
It's Not What you Say... has an extremely practical section on teaching empathy on the job, based on the experience of the Union Square Hospitality Group in New York.
I've never met Haughton but I did a Google search on his name to see if I could find his e-mail address. I wanted permission to use an excerpt from his book as a handout for Evergreen Leaders' Listening Path Workshop.
I found his website and saw that he had not only recently published It's Not What you Say... but a couple years ago he had co-authored It's Not the BIG that Eat the SMALL...It's the FAST that Eat the SLOW: How to Use Speed as a Competitive Tool in Business.
As e-mailed Haughton I wondered if he practices what he preachers--if he uses speed as a competetive tool in business. I needed him to be fast because I wanted to use the excerpt in a workshop on Wednesday.
Haughton does practice what he preaches.
I e-mailed him on a Saturday morning and he responded within two hours. Not only did he respond but he said that he had checked out the Evergreen Leaders web site and sees that "we share a lot of the same guiding principles."
Then he added that he needed to check with his Currency Books editor in New York on Monday to get permission for Evergreen Leaders to use the excerpt. Late Monday he had permission from his editor and he e-mailed me the excerpt.
Haughton is fast.
The excerpt, "Reading Between the Lines" worked great. At EGL workshops folks sit at round tables, five per table, and we alternate between lectures and table action. I divided the hand out into five sections, numbered 1-5, and had each person read their section and then teach it to the rest of the people at their table in sequenece, 1-5.
The participants were all from an organization that serves adults with developmental disabilties in small group homes. After they had taught each other the hand out I had them share stories of of staff at their organization who use their heads, hearts, and courage to serve the folks they work with.
After they shared the stories I had them write headlines for the stories and post them on the wall.
There was great energy in the room as they taught "Reading Between the Lines", shared the stories, and did the headlines.
It was an honor to be on the Listening Path with these folks.
I thought of that last Saturday morning when I was e-mailing Laurence Haughton to ask permission to use an excerpt from his book, It's Not What You Say... It’s What You Do – How Following Through at Every Level Can Make or Break Your Company.
It's Not What you Say... has an extremely practical section on teaching empathy on the job, based on the experience of the Union Square Hospitality Group in New York.
I've never met Haughton but I did a Google search on his name to see if I could find his e-mail address. I wanted permission to use an excerpt from his book as a handout for Evergreen Leaders' Listening Path Workshop.
I found his website and saw that he had not only recently published It's Not What you Say... but a couple years ago he had co-authored It's Not the BIG that Eat the SMALL...It's the FAST that Eat the SLOW: How to Use Speed as a Competitive Tool in Business.
As e-mailed Haughton I wondered if he practices what he preachers--if he uses speed as a competetive tool in business. I needed him to be fast because I wanted to use the excerpt in a workshop on Wednesday.
Haughton does practice what he preaches.
I e-mailed him on a Saturday morning and he responded within two hours. Not only did he respond but he said that he had checked out the Evergreen Leaders web site and sees that "we share a lot of the same guiding principles."
Then he added that he needed to check with his Currency Books editor in New York on Monday to get permission for Evergreen Leaders to use the excerpt. Late Monday he had permission from his editor and he e-mailed me the excerpt.
Haughton is fast.
The excerpt, "Reading Between the Lines" worked great. At EGL workshops folks sit at round tables, five per table, and we alternate between lectures and table action. I divided the hand out into five sections, numbered 1-5, and had each person read their section and then teach it to the rest of the people at their table in sequenece, 1-5.
The participants were all from an organization that serves adults with developmental disabilties in small group homes. After they had taught each other the hand out I had them share stories of of staff at their organization who use their heads, hearts, and courage to serve the folks they work with.
After they shared the stories I had them write headlines for the stories and post them on the wall.
There was great energy in the room as they taught "Reading Between the Lines", shared the stories, and did the headlines.
It was an honor to be on the Listening Path with these folks.
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