Thursday, April 14, 2005

A long streak of hard

Lately I've been getting up at 4:30 - 5:00 a.m. A long time ago I learned that if I wake up anywhere near morning I might as well get up because otherwise I'll lay in the dark with my brain rattling around.

I've had a long streak of hard work and a series of challenges to my leadership style by people I love. I've been waking up on edge.

I sit in my chair and write in my journal--always starting with worship. Most of the time my spirit quiets down as I connect with Abba and Jesus.

As a leader I am prone to thinking it's all up to me. People look to me for action, wisdom, and saftey. I do my best but it often doesn't seem to be enough.

Starting the morning in worship before dawn helps me to return to reality--I have a small role in God's plan, a plan that's been in motion for millenia.

Lately I've been plodding through Jeremiah who was always hearing a word from the Lord that got him into trouble with people around him. Finally he got tossed into jail, accused of helping the enemy. At one point, since Jeremiah seemed to have a pipe line to God, the king wanted to hear what he had to say and then, of course, the king went his own way.

My troubles seem tiny compared to Jeremiah's.

I worship and bathe in the word of the Lord and usually a phrase for the day emerges. This morning it was: Nurture through faithfulness.

So I'm trying to be faithful as I work and love today, trusting that others will be nurtured by my faithfulness.