Fixing people

Stop trying to fix them.

That was a subhead in Yona Lunken's e-letter that I received this morning. He went on to say, "As a culture we keep thinking that if we just point out someone’s weakness and then give them training for that weakness, they will be fixed. This just doesn’t happen."

As an undergraduate I studied social work and then earned a Master's degree in counseling. You could say I was interesated in fixing people. I didn't think training would fix people but I was focused on people's weaknesses and I thought counseling would fix people.

I'm not against counseling. People close to me have benefitted greatly from therapy.

Yet on my own journey I have begun to appreciate how each of us is a unique combination of strengths and weaknesses. I don't spend a lot of time trying to fix my body so that I can walk long distances. Instead I hop in my wheelchair (well, not exactly hop--smile) and get busy doing the things I'm good at.

As Yona says, "Rather than trying to fix someone, find a way to diminish or ameliorate the effects of their weakness so that their talents can shine."

That's the wonder of families and workplaces. In groups our strengths and weaknesses fit together to create a beautiful mosaic.

I'm not talking about adultery or theft--those are mloral failures, not weaknesses. When I talk about weaknesses and strengths I'm talking about things like I am a pretty good writer and pretty lousy at keeping my office in order.

Our weaknesses naturally create space for other people's strengths.

You can subscribe to Yona's free ''Thinking Skills Seminars Newsletter'' by e-mailing him at thinking@a5.com.

(By the way, can anyone tell me how to create a link for an e-mail address in blogger so that the reader can click on the e-mail address and go directly to their e-mail program with the address inserted in the "To:" box?)

Living in a marketing world

Lately I've been meditating on Jesus of Nazareth's manifesto, aka the sermon on the mount. This morning a phrase caught my attention: "Where your treasure is, there your heart is also."

Where is my treasure?

Like most folks in the USA I live in a marketing world, a world that treasures things, experiences, security. etc. Looking around the room where I write this I can see well over 100 things that were made and marketed (lots of books).

At the moment I don't see what I treasure most--God and his people.

Yesterday after Plow Creek worship and our common lunch three little girls, Kora Behrens, Margret Moore, and Isa Newhouse climbed on me and my wheelchair and took a ride. I treasure the children of Plow Creek.

Lately I have been meeting with Bethany Davis, a young mother of three who moved to Plow Creek from Hawaii last August after her husband died. A stay-at-home Mom with a high school education, she is exploring where she fits in the world of work. I encouraged her to attend Evergreen Leaders recent workshop--The Listening Path--that helps people identify their talents.

During the Listening Path I ask particpants identify seven things there brain loves to do--recurring patterns of thought, feeling or behavior.

After the workshop I asked Bethany about her list of seven things her brain loves to do. Two themes emerged. Her brain loves facts and ideas and her brain loves to meet new people and to have new experiences. After we had talked a few minutes I asked her, "Have you ever considered doing marketing?" She was appalled at the idea. She saw marketing as equivalent to high pressure sales.

To give her a broader picture I gave her a couple of other examples of marketing. Kevin Behrens, a shy guy and the opposite of a high pressure, fast-talking salse person, does a great job of marketing Plow Creek Farm produce.

Kevin does everything from writing and producing the farm newsletter, taking photos, managing the farm website and during the growing season, he does the daily phone message updates. In the last couple years he has created a great relationship with Natural Direct, a new home delivery produce distributor in the western Chicago suburbs, making it possible for folks in the western suburbs to enjoy locally grown Plow Creek produce. He also creates the signs and the layout for our local self-service produce market.

Then I described to Bethany all the marketing I do for Evergreen Leaders, a nonprofit company I head that does leadership workshops and consulting to help nonprofits thrive in towns under 10,000.

As Bethany and I talked about the marketing I do for EGL Bethany kept coming up with ways to improve EGL's marketing.

"Bethany, you have a marketing brain," I said.

Last week Bethany committed to starting as a vounteer marketer for EGL. I've committed to spend time with her each week supplementing her raw talent for marketing with knowledge about how to market EGL. Also, she is going to take marketing classes at the local community college.

I treasure giving Bethany the opportunity to develop her marketing talent. One of the places I love to put my treasure is in helping people develop the talents God knit into them starting in the womb.

The world's only diamond willow headboard maker

When Dad, who lives in northern Minnesota, was 79, a stranger stopped and asked him if there were any diamond willows growing in the area.

Dad didn't know. He had never heard of diamond willows. The man showed Dad some beautiful walking sticks he had made out of diamond willows.

Dad researched diamond willows on the Internet and then went looking for them. He discovered lots of diamond willows near our farm. "I've probably been walking by them since I was five years old and never knew they were there," he says.

Now Dad is 82, a man with his own diamond willow business and website, Foss Diamond Willows, and someone who is having more fun working than ever before. In fact, recently he told me, "Life begins at 80."

While I've been launching Evergreen Leaders, discovering how to create a nonprofit that can help other nonprofits thrive, Dad has been discovering how to create a thriving business.

When the board and I launched Evergreen Leaders we focused on developing leadership workshops for nonprofit staff. Recently we have added strategic planning and fund raising consulting services in addition to the workshops.

Dad began making diamond willow walking sticks and lamps and marketing them at craft shows. But he kept looking for bigger ticket items that he could make from diamond willows.

After he made a diamond willow bed a couple of people suggested that he make diamond willow headboards. When a customer happily paid $500 for a diamond willow headboard, that got Dad's attention.

Now he has created diamond willow headboards for every size of bed. As he's shown them to customers he's dicovered that his customers see the diamond willow headboards as a perfect addition to their lake homes.

I'm proud of my Dad--the world's first maker of diamond willow headboards.

A thousand mouths

This week I wrote a poem for the Easter sun rise service Erin Kindy and I lead this morning.

Here's a bit of background on the poem. This week the Plow Creek farmers planted strawberries. They order the plants from a distributor in Indiana who purchases them from a grower in California. The plants are refrigerated until it's time to plant them.

We sell a lot of strawberries each June. Last year Kevin Behrens, who does our marketing, said that by the end of the season he felt like he was pushing tons strawberries into people.

Of course, the poem has several Biblical allusions as well. Erin and I used Jesus' metaphor about his death and resurrection in the call to worship:

I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.

In the last part of the poem I use the metaphor of tasting drawn the phrase in the psalm, "taste and see that the Lord is good."

A Thousand Mouths
By Rich Foss

Tender Plow Creek hands
lifted little green shoots
from a refrigerator this holy week,
hands like those of a rich man from Aramathia
tenderly wrapping a body
and hefting it into a rocky tomb.

Ah, the grief of a single grain of wheat
clinging to life.

Hand and machine ripped open the field--
now strawberry shoots dwell
in Plow Creek soil,
roots caressed by earth.

A body housed in hewn rock,
lifeless, breathless,
three days of stillness
before the startle.

June is coming when earth and plant
fling tons of strawberries into the air,
succulent to a thousand mouths.

He is risen,
tasting with a thousand generations
the raw goodness of resurrection.

Shall we dance?

This afternoon I suggested Sarah pick up a video and she came home with Shall We Dance? a remake of a Japanese film that stars Richard Gere and Jennifer Lopez. Sarah loves dance but I had my doubts. After all, I don't move well due to my disability...all I could think of was watching a movie that reminded me of my shortcomings as Sarah's man.

At first the movie confirmed my fears as Richard Gere secretly pursues ballroom dancing lessons, unable to reveal that side of himself to his wife. Does Sarah secretly wish she could dance with someone who could move freely?

But then to my astonishment the movie flows into powerfully affirmation Richard Gere's marriage. At one point Peter Gabriel's "The Book of Love" was playing in the background and tears were welling up in my eyes:

The book of love is long and boring...

The book of love has music in it
In fact that's where music comes from
Some of it is just transcendental
Some of it is just really dumb

But I
I love it when you sing to me
And you
You can sing me anything

Sarah, my heart is a ballroom for you. Shall we dance?

Sometimes life is as brutal...

Sometimes when I need a break I wander the web. This afternoon I wandered to Kevin Rains' blog and discovered that Mark Palmer died.

I don't know Mark Palmer. I only know he's a friend of Kevin's and he had cancer. I clicked on Kevin's link to Mark Palmer's blog. Mark's last post was 3/25/06. He talked about celebrating his four year-old son Micah's birthday.

His wife has written three entries since his death, starting on 3/27/06 with: My lover is gone...

Sometimes life is as brutal as an eagle swooping over a rabbit.

Mark's last words in his blog were to his son, Micah, who is named after the prophet:

Happy birthday little prophet, may you be filled with the blessings of peace, hope, and love.

Sometimes life is as tearing and tender as the blessing of a dying man.

Laughing and weeping

Yesterday morning, as I have done for months, I prayed for the Christian Peacemaker Team members being held in Baghdad. At first I prayed for four, then three after Tom Fox's body was found a couple weeks ago.

When I was done with my quiet time I turned on my computer and my Inside Yahoo! screen popped up declaring the CPTers had been freed. What great joyful news.

Later Erin Kindy, one of our church members who is active in CPT came over and we rejoiced together that the three CPTers were released without a bullet being fired. Talk about an answer to many prayers.

As the news has unfolded in the day since they have been released the three who were from Canada and Britain indicated that they had not been mistreated while in captivity.

That likely means that Tom Fox was tortured and killed for being an American. People get upset when their country is invaded.

That reminds me of fifteen months ago when I was in the Miami area between Christmas and New Years. One day my wife and daughters decided to visit a huge mall. I stayed in the van to snooze but soon found myself in a conversation with a New York building contractor who divided his time between New York and Florida.

"I wish I could sit down with President Bush," he said. "I'd tell him he has blood on his hands."

When you listen to people, even strangers, you hear interesting things.

On the news last night a newscaster said that CPT does not use security so they were easy targets for kidnapping.

Tom Fox was a sacrificial lamb for the blood on American hands. Of course, some Iraqis have his blood on their hands too.

Bullets fly in circles, bloodying the hands of those who pull the trigger. A wise friend of mine once said, "They that live by the sword, die by the sword."

I take quiet pleasure in knowing the Christian Peacemaker Teams will not bloody any of the Swords of Righteousness Brigade who took Tom Fox and the other CPTers.

Grieving Tom Fox

I am mourning the death of Tom Fox, a Christian Peacemaker Team member whose body was found last Thursday in Baghdad, bound with gunshots to the head.

Plow Creek has sent three of our members to Colombia and Hebron to serve with CPT, and the father of one of our members, Erin Kindy, has spent much time in Iraq with the CPT team there.

So this news story is more than a news story.

It also hits close to home because my wife's father went to Ethiopia in 1950 as a missionary and was shot and killed.

People who go to dangerous places out of obedience to the Lord sometimes are killed and family and friends are left behind to grieve.

Remarkably, the day before he was taken captive, Tom Fox wrote a reflection on why he and CPT are in Iraq.

Three CPTers are still being held captive. Lord have mercy on they and their captors.

What's wrong with employer-based healthcare?

Six years ago Malcolm Gladwell author of Blink and Turning Point debated a proponent of the Canadian system of healthcare.

Galdwell has changed his mind. He now says that employer-based healthcare makes about as much sense as employer-based transportation. You know, if you lived in New York and lost your job "you would either have to walk or pay a prohibitively expensive subway surcharge."

Check out his blog.

Evergreen Leaders Drill Down 6

My brain is still working on simple, powerful words and concepts to create a clear focus for EGL.

For the last couple of years I've often said to people that EGL provides leadership training to people who would not otherwise have access to it. When I've said that I was thinking about people in small nonprofits, small business, etc. A couple days ago it occured to me that people in leadership and management in small towns--whether they are small businesses, nonprofits, public sector, or churches--do not have access to leadership seminars in their towns at an affordable cost. So here's EGL mission version 6:

EGL helps
• nonprofits, small businesses, govermental units, and churches in towns under 10,000
• to be great workplaces
• and to transform the lives of service recipients.

Evergreen Leaders Drill Down 5

I'm still trying to drill deep enough to find simple words to describe what EGL is trying to achieve. Every business and nonprofit exists to make life better for somebody. Whose lives is EGL trying to make better? What will happen when lives are been touched by EGL?

I'm looking for a way to describe EGL's mission so that excitement flows like an artesian well for all connected with EGL.

Here's another version:

EGL helps
• companies (nonprofit and for profit) that employ service people for $12 an hour or less
• to be great workplaces and to transform the lives of service recipients
• at a cost comparable to national firms providing management seminars to small businesses and nonprofits.

Now I think I am really close to pay dirt.

Talents and laughter

Among Rick Reha's talents is eclectic reading--science fiction, theology, art history, music instrument making publications, and much more.

Talent, according to the Gallup Organization research, is "a recurring pattern of thought, feeling or behavior that can be productively applied."

Here's how Rick recently applied his talent for reading. He recently read Holy Humor by Cal Samra. He passed the book along to Jim Fitz.

Jim, when he's not traveling as part of his peace-making ministry stays three night's a week with Jim and Donna Harnish, Plow Creek's most senior members. He brought ''Holy Humor'' with him to Harnishes'. He leaves the book there and each evening he stays with the Harnishes he reads to Jim.

Fitz has a talent for connecting with people. "It's more fun reading a humor book with someone. When I read the book to Jim he often has funny stories to tell," he says.

Getting old gracefully is not for the faint of heart. Donna had a stroke seven or eight years ago and has not been able to speak or walk since. Jim and others at Plow Creek have faithfully cared for her since her stroke. Now Jim H.'s health has deteriorated to the point where he can no longer drive and he mostly uses a wheelchair to get around their apartment.

Still he's a great conversationalist. He enjoys discussing the politics of hope for the poor, telling stories, and laughing at the occasional absurdity of life.

When I'm old and can't get out and about I'm looking forward to people sharing talents, moments of absurdity, and laughter with me.

A better way than "guilty victim"

Even though pastors and leaders have power they sometimes feel powerless. Watch out when leaders feel powerless because they tend to notch up the power of their actions to overcome their feelings of powerlessness and people get hurt.

But there's a better way to deal with feelings of powerlessness.

Take me. On Saturday I was part of an all day retreat of the communal group I belong to--Plow Creek Fellowship. Late in the day I said something and another person disagreed with me. Of course, I thought my idea was great and would benefit the group. That's what leaders tend to think about their thinking (:lol:).

It wasn't the time or the place for us to work out the disagreement. Later I found myself still fretting about the exchange. "No matter what I say," I thought, "he's going to disagree with me."

Even as I thought that I knew it made no sense. After all, earlier in the day I had said something and the same person had strongly agreed with me.

When I start making mental blanket negative statements about another person I know it's usually a carry over from another experience, often a childhood experience.

On Sunday morning in my quiet time I said, "Okay, Lord, where did this idea that no matter what I say I'm going to be opposed come from"

I immediately thought of an incident with my younger sister. We were out playing or working and I did something that upset her. I don't remember what it was but I remember her response. "I'm going to call the sheriff on you," she screamed, "because you are the guilty victim."

Ah yes, I thought, my little sister was feeling powerless and she wanted to get the sheriff on her side to to overpower me.

Since I've been a pastor and leader for most of my adult life I've often had people "yell" at me because I have so much power and they feel they have so little that they need to "yell" to be heard.

Then I end up feeling like the "guilty victim." I feel guilty because the person was hurt or frightened by my leadership. When I have wronged a person in my pastoral role, it actually makes it easier because I can apologize and take responsibility.

But I feel like a guilty victim when I offer my best as a leader and someone feels threatened and in fear of being overpowered "yells" at me and looks for a "sheriff" to overpower me.

Okay, Jesus, you must have a better way of seeing the situation with my sister and similar situations.

Immediately I sensed Jesus says, "Richard, you are an innocent equal and you should lay down your life for others."

That's given me something to ponder for several days.

Evergreen Leaders Drill Down 4

Again using Caver's approach for nonprofit boards, here's an end statement for Evergreen Leaders:

EGL helps
• nonprofits employing direct service professionals for under $12 an hour
• to be great workplaces and to transform the lives of service recipients
• at a cost comparable to national firms providing management seminars to nonprofits.

I'm still contemplating the third bullet. It's an attempt to answer the question, "At what cost will EGL provide the services?" It's easy to compare the cost of our workshops to companies like CareerTrack and Skillpath but it's not so easy to compare board training and consulting, two other services EGL provides to nonprofits. I'll have to do more research.

Evergreen Leaders drill down 3

I continue to ponder Evergreen Leaders function and form--thanks for raising the issue, Tutuk. Here's another drill down:

'EGL gives

• nonprofit organizations that employ direct service professionals for under $10 an hour
• the tools to be a great workplace and to transform the lives of service recipients
• at a cost comparable to national firms that provide management seminars to small businesses and nonprofits.''

Thanks to John Carver who says nonprofit boards ought to set expectations for success by defining the purpose of the organizations in three areas:
• results
• for which recipients
• at what worth.

Evergreen Leaders drill down 2

Since yesterday I've continued to ponder who is Evergreen Leaders audience and what changes do we offer them. Let's try this one on:

EGL gives nonprofit organizations that employ direct service professionals for under $10 an hour the tools to be a great workplace that transforms the lives of service recipients.

Evergreen Leaders drill down 1

Hmmm. It's been three weeks since I did a post.

I've been thinking about using my blog to drill down deep to the core of Evergreen Leaders. In my December 13 entry I told the story of EGL board member Tutuk Horning holding up a flower at the November EGL board meeting and saying, "I do not know how to describe the form and function of Evergreen Leaders."

Evergreen Leaders has a mission, "To give ordinary people the tools to help their groups thrive." But that's too vague. It doesn't describe the form and the function. Ordinary people is a little too broad. There are a lot of ordinary people in the world. Groups is a little too broad. There are a lot of groups in this world.

So let's drill down and see if we can discover gold--the form and function of Evergreen Leaders.

Let's start drilling by looking at who we are helping--ordinary people. I'm thinking about the people who are the lowest on the rung in businesses and nonprofits.

That's too broad also. Let's talk about the people who are on the lowest rung in nonprofits that provide services to the elderly and people with developmental services.

That's too broad too because that means we are aiming at two fields--the industry that cares for people with developmental disabilities and the eldercare field. In business terms that two industries.

It's so hard for me to choose one of those fields. Since I have the most experience with field that provides services to people with developmental disabilities, it makes most sense that we focus there. Also, we have two board membes who work in that field.

For the time being, let's assume we are going to focus on nonprofits who provide services to adults with developmental disabilities.

The next question: What function will we provide to the developmental disabilities field? What do they need that we can provide?

Okay, let me do a first draft: Our function will be to provide educatioanl tools that will make it possible for front line managers and workers to thrive on the job.

Ok. That's enough for tonight. It's a start. Now I need to get people to make comments and help with this Evergreen Leaders drill down.

One more holy night

Last night we gathered in a plain room, sang Christmas carols, prayed and listened to scripture readings.

It was the Plow Creek Christmas Eve service, an annual event that brings together those of us who are not traveling to see family and those of us who traveled to Plow Creek to see family.

We sat in a rough circle of folding chairs. On a small table in the center of the room a single white Christ candle burned.

As we sang about a baby being born the candle flickered.

Sarah read, "The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world".

We sat there crazy enough to believe and sing about God shrinking from creator of the universe to a baby.

As we sang the Christ candle burned.

Then Emily Fitz, home from physician's assistant school in California, handed out candles and we formed one large circle around the room. Someone dimmed the lights until the candle at the center was the bright.

Then Louise Stahnke, who led worship, lit her candle from the Christ candle in the middle of the room. Then she lit two other people's candles who each lit the candle of a person next to them.

Rick Reha started us singing "Silent Night, Holy Night."

As we sang, slowly the fire and light from the Christ candle passed from candle to candle along each side of the circle.

Five year-old Helen Moore with long brown hair and churubic face stood next to me. When her candle was lit she turned and solemnly lit my candle. Then I turned and lit Sarah's candle.

We sang cheerfully, gratefully, believing that this baby, born oh so long ago, became a man who passed on such powerful love from his Dad in heaven that it is possible for us to love one another...and even our enemies.

The darkness did not have a chance. As we sang the room filled with flickering candle light.

Two brains

One evening when our son Jon was about eight he asked me to read him a story while he did his math problems. “Jon, you can’t do math and listen to a book at the same time,” said his all knowing father.

“I have two brains,” he explained. That caught my attention and I decided to experiment to see if he do math and listen to a story at the same time.

When he finished with the problems I stopped reading and checked his work. He had done the problems with 98% accuracy. Maybe he was right. Maybe he does have two brains.

When it comes to figuring out the next directions for Evergreen Leaders I am working with two brains--my spiritual brain and my other brain.

My spiritual brain has an ear cocked listening to the divine story, seeing where the story is heading and where EGL fits in with the divine story. My spiritual brain is listening to the good shepherd, knowing that he sees a much broader story than I do. My spiritual brain is listening to his voice, confident that it’s okay to wait until he reveals what’s next.

And then there’s my other brain that is checking out two paths. Yesterday I continued working on writing curriculum for a three-hour workshop for nonprofit boards. Several months ago a local nonprofit CEO with connections nationwide listened to my spiel about EGL and said that there’s a big hole in the field of board development and encouraged me to develop an EGL three hour board retreat for NPO on the role of boards and CEOs.

My other brain that loves a plan said, “Let’s go. If we develop a brief EGL workshop for boards that incorporates key EGL concepts it’ll open doors for our workshop series for managers and workers.”

And my spiritual brains, “That’s okay. You work on the EGL board workshop. I’m just going to sit here and listen to the divine story. God’s ways are mysterious, delightful, and full of twists. I can hardly wait for the next twist in the story. I bet he’ll incorporate EGL in a way I never could have dreamed of. I love him and a good story.”

Pneumonia and thinking about Evergreen Leaders

In one of those strange twists of life, having a nasty case of pneumonia is giving me critical time to think about Evergreen Leaders.

What exactly is Evergreen Leaders? That question has been the essence of our conversations at the EGL September and November board meetings.

Board member Tutuk Horning, an immigrant from Indonesia, said it best at our November board meeting when she recounted an incident. Someone visiting Plow Creek asked a question about Evergreen Leaders. Someone pointed out Tutuk and said, "Ask Tutuk. She's an EGL board member."

At that point in the board meeting Tutuk said, "My English is not very good." Then she held up flower and said, "I do not know how to describe the form and function of Evergreen Leaders."

Other board members chimed in. "It's not your English, Tutuk. We don't know how to describe it either."

I listened to the conversation feeling an odd combination of gratitude and chagrin. Gratitude because Tutuk, our quietest board member, had simply and eloquently described the key issue. Like a flower, EGL needs and easily described form and function. Chagrin because after two and half years, I, who love putting concepts into words, still can't describe EGL with the simple beauty of a flower.

I take some comfort from venture capitalist Brad Feld's blog:

''One of the challenges with early stage companies is determining whether the thing you are creating is a “feature”, a “product”, or a “company”. Of ''''course everyone aspires to create “a company” and most business plans eloquently describe the $50 million company that is going to be created in ''''five years. Since that rarely occurs, early stage VCs are constantly asking “is that a feature, product, or a company?”''

Evergreen Leaders has a mission that I'm deeply passionate about: ''To give ordinary people the tools to help their groups thrive.''

We started out by creating a series of three workshops aimed at two niches--churches and nonprofits.

So far no churches have shown an interest in the workshops but non-profits have. We did the first series for a paying custmor last spring. We're taking off, I thought. Two more NPOs expressed interest and I assumed we'd be doing the series for both this fall. But then both stalled out. One of the NPOs hit a money crunch and cut staff training. The other stalled out when their board questioned the value of workshops.

While marketing EGL to another NPO CEO she told me that there is a great need for brief, three-hour, board development workshops.

That made sense to me and some of my EGL board members. Thus I began working on developing an EGL board development workshop, integrating key concepts from the EGL workshops with ideas from John Carver, the leading thinker on nonprofit boards.

Another idea that surfaced during board conversations: focus on consulting as a way to pursue the EGL mission and bring in much needed income.

No wonder all of us connected with EGL are wondering what the form and function of EGL is.

After five days in the hospital with a nasty bout of pneumonia (when my blood pressure dropped to half of normal my dear Sarah worried about my survival--I was too sick to invest much energy in worrying) I've taken off the month of December.

This is giving me time to reflect and pray about Plow Creek and Evergreen leaders matters. I think I'll use my blog to think and pray about EGL. You can follow my journey, add to my thinking through comments. and you can even pray with me.

Lord, I know you called me to launch EGL. Now help me and the board know what you have in mind for the next leg of the journey. Amen.